Lawyer: (writing) "I am sorry, I can’t afford to pay for the sign language interpreter in my office. Can you read my lips?"

Deaf: (writing) "Huh?… Me sorry, I don’t accept ‘no sign language interpreter’ in your office. Can you read my hands?"

Unknown author

Future Roboterpreter electronic gadget?

Unknown author

No, No… I’ll have you know I am just his interpreter, NOT his mother!

Draw by Tami Davidson 2001 – Posted with her permission

Mafia and The Deaf Man

The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses they were ‘protecting’. Feeling the heat from the police, they decided to use a deaf person for the job. That way, should he get caught, he would be unable to communicate to the police what he was doing.

During his first week on the job, the deaf collector picks up over $60,000. He quickly becomes greedy, decides to keep the money and hides it in a safe place. Realizing that their collection is late, the mafia sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf man and ask him where the money is. Since the deaf collector is unable to communicate with them, they drag him to an interpreter.

The mafia hood tells the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs "Where’s the money?" to the deaf man.

The deaf man signs back, "I don’t know what you’re talking about."

The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about."

The hood takes out a pistol, places it in the deaf collector’s ear and says, "NOW, ask him where da money is."

Again the interpreter signs, "Where’s the money?"

The deaf man signs, "The $60,000 is in Central Park. It’s hidden in the fifth tree stump on the left from the West 78th Street gate."

The interpreter turns to the hood and says, "He says he still doesn’t know what you’re talking about and doesn’t think you have the guts to pull the trigger!"

Similar joke as above but little different…

The Deaf Underling 

A Mafia Godfather finds out that one of his underlings has screwed him out of ten million bucks. This underling happens to be deaf, so the Godfather brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the underling, "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the underling where the 10 million dollars is hidden.

The underling signs back, "I don’t know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about."

That’s when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the underling’s temple, cocks it and says, "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling, "He’ll kill you for sure if you don’t tell him!"

The underling signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo’s backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney, "Well, what’d he say?" The attorney replies, "He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger."